The mothers who lost their children to death said there were no words to express their pain.

But with tears that cannot stop flowing, they shared their harrowing experiences  to other mothers undergoing the same unfathomable grief. And they say they help each other as  they cry together while they remember the most trying ordeal of their lives.

During the launching of the Inang Naulila sa Anak (INA) Foundation in the fourth district of Pangasinan recently at the residence of Speaker Jose De Venecia, several  mothers talked about their painful experiences and how they cope with the anguish that seemed never to go away.

Gina de Venecia, the Speaker’s wife and the foundation’s president, openly cried as she recalled the moment she embraced the remains of her daughter KC de Venecia when it was brought down from their residence which was gutted by fire on December 16, 2004.

“I wanted to die. My youngest daughter was dead and life seemed empty. My husband said, ‘what about us?’ I said ‘bahala na kayo.’”

But she finally found the strength to go on after a “miracle” in Rome when the solid blood of Sta. Patricia liquefied when she was holding the container. It was just the right impetus for her to start life anew.

Then she thought on how other mothers in the same predicament were coping with their grief and she thought of the establishing a foundation to help them.

With her in the foundation is Menchie Abalos, wife of Rep._Abalos and mother of Ciara who died last year.

This is her story: “When KC died, I went to the wake and there I saw how Gina was grieving. I prayed that I would not go through the same experience as I knew I could not cope. But after a month, I lost Ciara. She was a healthy child, she never had a disease. She was supposed to fly to the United States on Wednesday but she had a slight fever. Her grandfather told her to postpone the trip.”

The mother thought her teenaged child just needed a rest. “On Thursday night,  I brought her to the hospital thinking she could be dehydrated as she was having loose bowel movement. The following day, her blood pressure dropped. Then I could not bear t to look at her anymore as medical equipment was connected to her body. She died that day, a single bacteria went to her blood and killed her five organs.”  

De Venecia recalled how the mothers’ lives seemed to be intertwined. “I was here in Dagupan when Ali Sotto lost her son Micu in an accident in 2003,” she said. “I immediately went back to Manila to stay beside her. I did not know that after one year, KC will die, too. Menchie Abalos was there for me. Then after a month, she lost Ciara.”

Precy Meneses lost her 24-year old daughter who was working in the United States. When Meneses talked to her the last time, she was coughing and she told her to take antibiotics. But she got a call three days later, telling her she was dead.

Director Luigi Santiago died unexpectedly, at the peak of his career and was one of the highest paid directors in the country, her mother Irma  Santiago recounted. But his life was put to an end when he was shot in a bar while he tried to tell a man to get off a girl.

“He did not know that the man had companions who had a gun. There were seven persons shot that he was the only fatality,” the mother said.

Emma Chan lost her 25-year old daughter also last year. Her daughter was with her friends on the way to an outing in Laguna when she died because of aneurism.

De Venecia said a mother who lost a child never gets over her grief, she just learns to live with it. But it helps that women in the same strait get together and support each other as they cope with the greatest loss in their lives.

This is the reason why the Ina Foundation was established, she said.

Some 15 women from the fourth district of Pangasinan joined the foundation when it was launched in Dagupan.

Aside from getting support and comfort from each other, the members of the Ina Foundation can also avail of livelihood projects which the foundation intend to pursue, de Venecia said.

She explained that when someone in the family died, the family is most often left financially drained because of medical and burial expenses.

“Ours is a matriarchal family,” she said, “and it is usually the mother who holds the family together even when she is grieving. Through the foundation, we will help process her grief so she can rebuild her life; as well help her earn some money through livelihood projects.”